Monday, January 21, 2008

My First Week in Maryland

My first week has been... how should I say ridiculous. There are some kind of large black bird outside my apartment in the trees -no their not crows their huge beast from a forgotten era. I think their called TurkeyVulture.

I've gotten lost twice. I found myself in places that I think some might call the "ghetto". I stop to ask for directions but the guy wouldn't tell me anything unless I bought some "coke". I did. Now with directions and some coke I make it out of the ghetto.
The next day it snows. I'm at work, I look outside and turn to my office mate Bill "hey it's snowing that's kind of cool" I was a little excited. Bill says with no expression "yeah". It continues to snow. My excitement slowly goes away as I see my car being covered by 6 inches of snow. People are beginning to leave early "before things get bad" they said. None of the other leads are leaving -plus I didn't want to show them that I was scared of snow. I stayed. I continue to work but getting more nervous as everything that was white is turning brown and black because of cars leaving and the plows that are clearing the roads. It was time to leave. I went to my car started scraping snow off. In case you guys don’t remember what I drive –Scion XA a car that is fuel efficient and built for harsh conditions. I get into my car and feeling good. I can hear snow crunching under my all weather tires. Feeling good, getting close to home it was dark I see my street. I turn right but instead of turning my car keeps on going –going towards the minivan in the other lane. The only thing I see is the lady in the minivan with her mouth open and shaking her head “no!” I pump the breaks turning the wheel. The XA keeps on sliding… it stops about 4 inches away from hitting. We come out of the cars to see the damage. The lady was yelling at me. I show her my all weather tires.
“I’m going to call the cops on you for reckless driving”
“Come on lady, be fair is there anything I can do”
“Give me your information so I can call my insurance”
I go to my glove compartment and pull out my insurance, registration then the small plastic bag of “coke” falls out.
“Hey is that coke!” she says from behind me.
“Yeah, I had to buy it because…”
“Give me the coke and we’re good” she says
“Okay, Merry Christmas”

Friday I wake up. Leave the house wave to the black birds of death I call “the Jones”. Get into my undamaged XA. Go to work meet the Art director for THQ Thom Ang.
Company meeting… drank some beer. Played some pools.
Went to watch Cloverfield. Was surrounded by loud, hormone, crazy, dumb teenagers who talked throughout the movie; I kept calm because in the state of Maryland you can’t fight teenager or some crazy law like that. Met up with co-worker at a bar.

I’m going to stop writing because I’m running out of words I know.


jriggity said...


Funny shit man!....I thought you were kidding.

good luck at new joint man.


FENTON said...

What are you serious...WOW, bet you miss San Diego... people in the ghettos here will give you directions with out having to buy coke....well maybe a Dr. Pepper!!!

Armen said...

Great post...FUNNY! Good luck out there!

FENTON said...

wow still no new posts!!

MARILLA said...

wow,, you are in maryland,,, crabcake!!! crab crab!!
you are so faraway.... but I hope you are creatively having fun there...... with crab and snow? and I know Thom really well,, wow surprize again.... small world..
GOOOD LUCK!! for everything...